By Jessica Easthope
Joly Maginnis is a total daddy’s girl.
She wishes the pictures in these albums would bring up loving memories of him, but she doesn’t have any. Joly was just a year old when her dad, Sgt. Peter Maginnis died.
“It feels like there’s a missing piece of me,” Joly said. “Basically I keep going to look for more pictures but I kind of ran out. It’s a very weird feeling having people tell you about someone you’re supposed to know. That’s supposed to be my person. I wish I got to know him.”
Peter was larger than life, always with a smile on his face, had three beautiful children and his wife Maryann who adored him.
“He was a great guy,” MaryAnn Maginnis said. “He was a good guy. It still happens 21 years later. He had a giant heart, funny. He was always making somebody laugh.”
He was the last person you’d ever think would take his own life. Peter was 37 when he shot himself with his service weapon on an overpass on the Belt Parkway on Sept. 20, 2002. MaryAnn came home to the goodbye letters.
“As I’m reading it I’m calling him and his phone is ringing downstairs, I’m on his phone calling his friends and parents I’m on the house phone calling 911,” MaryAnn said. “And then, when I ran outside, I saw Msgr. Romano and Msgr. Cassato. I knew it was true.”
Msgr. David Cassato, deputy chief chaplain of the NYPD, celebrated the first Mass for Peter and the more than 230 other active duty members of the NYPD who have died by suicide since 1989. It was organized by MaryAnn who serves as the widow liaison for the Anchor Club, a Catholic organization of officers who are Knights of Columbus.
“I’ll never forget walking down the block on that beautiful day and walking into that family,” Msgr. Cassato said. “I’ll never forget that day.”
“They started inviting me to things and the kids,” MaryAnn said. “I got to hang out with the police officers and my kids got to see the blue uniforms and how they stick together. That’s how I kept my husband alive.”
Today Peter’s legacy is carried on by his three children. The oldest, TJ, is a police officer.
“My entire life is based around him,” TJ said. “I’ve been following in his footsteps since I can remember, I’m in his precinct, I have his shield, I wanna be like him as much as possible and then, if I was ever in that situation, I know I could fight it.”
A community for families affected by suicide didn’t exist 21 years ago when Peter died, but since then MaryAnn has created one.
“I’m honoring them because we love them and it’s how they lived, but it’s not OK how they died,” Maryann said.
Now her life is dedicated to ending the stigma surrounding suicide.
“MaryAnn Maginnis has become a real consoler,” Msgr. Cassato said. “I think we need to talk more and more about it and get people to talk about it and their feelings that cause such a thing.”
“Peter gave me this life so I have to do it the best that I can,” MaryAnn said.
Her children are daily reminders of the joy Peter brought to their lives and all he left behind.
“I will never know what it’s like to have a catch with my dad,” TJ said. “I’ll never know what it’s like to get taught how to shave. I had to do that myself. Use my family as an example if you need to, your family are the only ones who are suffering, not you.”
MaryAnn’s hope sounds familiar to members of the NYPD. New Yorkers have heard it countless times.
“If you see that something is bothering somebody, you have to say something,” she said. “Hey are you OK?”
In Peter’s memory, for Maryann and her children, if you see something, say something.
For anyone who may need help, you can call the Catholic Charities Mobile Crisis Team at 718-514-8031.
You can also call the National Suicide Prevention lifeline at 988.